Why Couldn't I Do It?
by Skabooom
Summary: One night, while driving home, Tyler Lockwood sees Jeremy Gilbert sitting on the edge of a bridge. Afraid that he knows exactly what Jeremy is doing there, Tyler pulls over to attempt to talk the boy off of a ledge. Jyler Jeremy/Tyler slash. Oneshot.


"Gilbert?" Tyler pulled his car over, getting out as he saw a familiar form through the dark. It was almost 4 AM, and he couldn't imagine why Jeremy was sitting by the side of the road, on a bridge, no less. "Jeremy, are you okay?"

"No." Jeremy looked up at Tyler, his eyes wet with tears.

"What are you doing out here?" Tyler asked, moving to sit down next to the younger boy. Normally he wouldn't have stopped, normally it wouldn't have been his business, but Jeremy meant something to him, something he had never told anyone about, and he had an eerie feeling that he knew exactly why Jeremy was out on the bridge at 4 AM.

"I couldn't do it," Jeremy said softly, tears choking him up as he looked away from Tyler, ashamed of himself.

"Couldn't do what?" Tyler asked softly, afraid of the answer even though he was almost certain that he knew what it was.

"I couldn't jump." Jeremy broke down, sobbing as he looked at the ground. "I-I-I tried, I was so sick of everything, I was so sick of the pain and the sorrow and the hurt, especially the fact that it never got better. Every time I got even a little bit used to one person being gone, another one died on me, and I can't take it anymore, I came out here to make it stop and I just…I couldn't."

"Well that's a good thing," Tyler said softly, reaching out and rubbing Jeremy's back. Maybe the boy was off the ledge, but he was not out of the woods. The fact that he was out here, crying over the fact that he hadn't been able to jump meant that he had been damn close, and what if he didn't stop himself next time?

"I don't know." Jeremy sighed. "I just…I wanted to jump so bad, but I kept thinking about Elena…if I jumped, then I would have left her just the way everyone else has left me and I can't fucking do that to her. I just want to be selfish and I can't! It's not fucking fair!" Jeremy slammed his hand into the ground hard with an angry grunt.

"Hey, careful, careful." Tyler reached out, taking Jeremy's hand, checking to make sure that it wasn't injured. "I know things are rough, but you don't want to hurt yourself, okay? Things will get better eventually, and I know that it's hard for you to see that right now, it is for me too, but guess what?" he tilted his head to the side. "It's not the end of the world if you hurt a little bit longer, but it is if you jump."

"I just don't know if I can deal with all of this bullshit!" Jeremy tried to hit the ground again, but Tyler stopped him, taking both of his hands and holding them tightly.

"Look at me, Jeremy," Tyler said, his voice firm and commanding.

"What?" Jeremy looked up at Tyler, his eyes filled with tears.

"Don't do this to yourself," Tyler said softly. "Don't hurt yourself, don't kill yourself, don't beat yourself up over this."

"Why not?" Jeremy asked. "Why the hell not?"

"Because." Tyler bit his lip. "It's not worth it. A life like yours, it shouldn't be wasted." Tyler closed his eyes for a second. "I know that you and I don't get along, but I know why, at least on my end."

"Why?" Jeremy asked.

"Because I'm jealous of you, Jer." Tyler sighed. "You're smarter than me, you're nicer than me, god knows you're better looking than me, and if I weren't a stud, an asshole who beat on you, I wouldn't have anything. You're better than me, Jeremy Gilbert, hell, you're better than almost anyone I know. You protected Vicki at all costs, even when it almost killed you, and you did the same for Anna, for Bonnie, you do it for Elena every day. You're an amazing person, Jeremy, and to lose that life, it would be a huge loss."

"You're just saying that so I don't jump on your watch," Jeremy stated coldly.

"No, I'm not." Tyler shook his head. "I'm saying it because it's true, Jer, because maybe it seems like a lot of people don't see you, but I see you." Tyler sighed. "I just ignore what I see, or at least I did until now."

"You really think I'm worth it?" Jeremy asked. "That I'm worth staying alive?"

"No." Tyler shook his head. "I don't think you are, I know you are."

Jeremy said nothing, he just buried his face in Tyler's chest, sobs wracking his body. Tyler responded by putting his arms around Jeremy, holding the boy close. With everything that was going on, Jeremy had felt so worthless and now, with Tyler holding him, that feeling was going away. Tyler debated telling Jeremy how he really felt about him, but he decided that he had already said enough for now, that he would save the rest, the true confession, for a time when Jeremy's mood was more stable. Right now, he was just going to hold the boy until he calmed down, then take him home, say goodnight, and hoped that Jeremy would look him in the eye the next day.


End file.
